Experience
I am a leading expert in many industries.
Theme Park Design
I can design theme park rides that accurately simulate parts of every day life such as sitting in traffic or waiting in a check out line. I have designed theme parks that appeal to the youth that follow me. A few of these examples include a park themed to be like TikTok and another one that captures the essence of going back to school. I have won multiple awards such as "Worst Park" and "Most Confusing Layout," but my proudest moment in theme park achievement is installing pyrotechnics inside of all of my guests to make them explode. It is definitely a fun and memorable way to end any theme park visit.
Managing Grocery Stores
I am able to run a beautiful grocery store named Costco. It's not related in any way to the giant corporation stop asking. Inventory management is my passion. have successfully turned my son into a pile of boxes. I have also managed to get myself to grocery store purgatory by climbing on top of my son where I got to watch my store shrink out of view while I was alone with my thoughts. I have the supernatural ability to pat my various employees butts in order to get them to work faster. I have recently started hitting my customers to determine who's the most fit to shop at my store.
Friend Group Leader
I can build up a large friend from scratch all by myself. My friends and I all believe in a common goal and higher powers that guide our everyday lives. I built my friends luxury living and dining accommodations. I also built them adequate bathroom facilities and I most definitely did not feed them poop. Whenever one of my friends comes to the end of their life, I help them move on by performing a ceremony to send them to a higher power and fulfill their ultimate purpose of providing life force to the rest of the friends. I have also defeated demons both in real life and inside of myself.
Oregon Trail Pioneer
I am able to lead successful wagon trains from Independence, Missouri to the Willamette Valley, Oregon. I drive my oxen at breakneck speeds while feeding my party bare bones rations order to make it to Oregon in the fastest time possible. I have loved meeting and interacting with regulars on the wagon trail: for example there is a cursed orphan named Borkus and a gold panner named Oolyses whose mouth is perpetually in an "O" shape. I have proven myself to be the strongest in my wagon parties by making it to Oregon alone and never crash my wagon in the Dalles, causing everyone in my party to die.
